hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
