so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
