I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
