and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
