I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize