I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
