If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My bed smells like the plague
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