Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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