I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Come share oat with me in your robe
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
how does that bad decision feel?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
