I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
