My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
