I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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