she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
