the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
