How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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