Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
