My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
