Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
