also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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