glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
