Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
