please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
porn star boner night. come get it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
