It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
