She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
