I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
