Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
