there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
