Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
