I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
