I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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