Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
