I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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