I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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