Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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