We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
