I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
