ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
