Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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