I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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