it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
