triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
