im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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