But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
