She said her name was "party"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
