i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
