i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
