can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Randomize
