Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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