do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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