Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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