why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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