I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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