Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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