he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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