Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
