After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
