YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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