we're blogging at a bar
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
