I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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