can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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