that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
