he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
