dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
