Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
