Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
