Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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