He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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