hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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