I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My vagina is officially offended.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
